Healthy churches embrace and foster healthy communication among all of our members and friends. We seek to live as God has called us, in a safe and loving community where differing viewpoints are welcomed and respected. Recognizing that there will always be disagreements, we embrace the following guidelines as a formal, written reminder that when we speak to one another, we must speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) and follow a healthy roadmap when conflicts arise. Accordingly, we make this covenant with one another.

 

1) We covenant (promise) to think interdependently by:

• Speaking directly with the person with whom we have an issue and avoiding triangulation (not passing on secondhand information or expressing opinions elsewhere).

• Ensuring kindness, care, and honesty in all interactions with no blaming. 

• Being positive and mindful of how we can support each other's ideas and the goals of the church.

• Praying for one another and forgiving one another. 

 

2) We covenant (promise) to manage impulsivity by:

• Taking time to breathe and remain calm.

• Thinking carefully before we speak or act. 

• Asking God to give us discernment.

 

3) We covenant (promise) to communicate [speak] with clarity and precision by:

• Asking God to give us the right words.    

• Explaining our thinking clearly, calmly, and honestly.

• Asserting the positive before communicating the negative. 

• Reflecting back what the speaker said and gaining confirmation of what we understood. 

 

4) We covenant (promise) to listen with understanding and empathy by: 

• Always assuming the best.

• Demonstrating mutual respect. 

• Listening with curiosity and loving intentions.

• Being present, engaged, and mindful of body language while listening. 

• Listening without interruption

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5) We covenant (promise) to think flexibly by:

• Valuing the perspectives of others even if we don’t agree, and being open to changing our minds. 

• Understanding that our views on an issue may not be the same as others’.

• Considering that other viewpoints may be better for the church as a whole.

• Agreeing to uphold decisions made by the group.

 

In abiding in this covenant, we will support one another on our faith journeys with kindness, respect, and love.